thanksgiving...

this thanksgiving has got to be the saddest thanksgiving i have ever had. first of all i had to work today and it was not pleasant to have to work on a day that should be spent with loved ones. work was expected but knowing i dont have to be there, meaning i could be off and getting paid for it, would have been sweet. so after work i waited for my brother to get off work at 5. he would come back home and we would be off to castro valley for thanksgiving. 5 rolled around and my brother was not answering my moms calls. i was let at home and still at home alone. its hard knowing that at this moment i could be spending this time with some i love. i cant help but beat myself up over leaving her. i prayed this morning and gave god thanks for giving me such a wonderful life. what made my life wonderful was the experience of love. i believe the love is still there but just not working in the way we want it to. i feel as if we are praying and loving each other but with no recognition. i am truly thankful for everything i have given.. love is what i am most thankful for. love from friends and family and love from "you know who"....