happy new year!!

so its a new year and i feel like i celebrated it in a way that was quite unusual for me. i did enjoy the company i had and was entertained with the alcoholic beverages and company, but i felt unsatisfied. there was something missing this year that i just did not really feel. i know this is the part where i say i miss my girlfriend, but what if it wasn't her. what if i was missing something more significant, more complex, or even more simple? well nonetheless i felt like i was missing something. why did i choose to hang out with my homeboy instead of my other cute ass homegirls?!? boggles my mind.. well my initial logic made lots of sense because my journey back home was like 5 stop signs. which made for a much safer and risk free night for me. i did drink but i really sobered up with the whole night being a "blur". i remembered everything but it was just kinda "fuzzy" because it didn't strike me as a defining moment in my life. it was as if coming into the year 2009 was another day, no real signifigance... so the new year begins, and my life needs to come together much more organized and planned (that's what i plan to do at least).. i have made a decision to make the whole ex-girlfriend thing as a low priority. there are so many other things that i want to experience and i feel as i am holding back because of my feelings.. my heart needs to let go so i can explore and do new and excitng things. i know its hard to do but saying it is the first step. i have this trip to chicago and boston coming up and i am very excited to see life outside the bay. i have been meaning to take this kind of trip for a while and am looking forward to everything. this coming new year seems like it is going to be filled with many new and crazy adventures. i just feel like with all the new friends i am making and the reconnections i have been meaning to follow up on have given me somewhat of a second win almost. its great to say goodbye to 2008. there were so many things that happened that just affected my life in so many ways, there are just too many to mention. alright so i can start off the new year right, i just hope i can get a good night's sleep for once. goodnight world and i wish everyone in my life a great and wonderful new year. i love you guys.. for real no joke i do.. thank you for everything =)