so it's april already. been a super long ass time since i seen her. feelings are so freaking strong still. i have not made my way to seeing other people. do i want to though? i think the fact that i ask this question means that i am not. but asking this question can also mean that i may not want to go back to the relationship. the spectrum of possibilities just make me so confused. so as i did last night, i am not ready to hook up with other people. because i know that i am not ready. its much better without any complications so i choose niether. its like i have a new notebook and i am in control of what i should right. this control is so new to me. its so fun. i can create and destroy what can happen in my life. i know that i had the ability before but its only now that i choose to focus myself entirely. its sucks though. there is nobody to share joy and sadness with. i can share it but its not like they will make it as if it were their own, like the one that you love. its rough without that other half and i miss it dearly.
the ghost of a good thing is a song from maroon 5 that reminds me of my feelings..
btw, the cure is the original emo
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