big ass hiatus

damn, just had to write about this crazy ass dream...

so i went to grade school with this now hipster chick that now lives in brooklyn as a go go dancer. she invited me and almost everyone i know to a party at her loft (dunno if its in the bay or in the east coast). all i remember is this one chick, i think i had wrote about her before (booty shorts), she came on to me as if something was wrong. she says to me, "is it cool if i lay here with you?" we spooned under some blankets watching something on the tv in the room we were in. we weren't alone either. a whole bunch of folks i knew were in there including my ex-girlfriend. i ended up messing around with her, just groping and holding on to her hips and what not. then i try something i prolly shouldn't have done. apparently i was a bit drunk and horny and the party and i try and slip a finger down there. it was a cool but she was about to be on her period. she was grabbed my hand after and was giving me the not now look. anyways i got up to go to the bathroom to wash up. good thing i was wearing dark jeans.. haha.. anyways, after i was done washing up i think she went looking for me. the loft (well the loft turned into a huge mansionish loft) was just too expansive to find anybody or anything. i was really wanting to talk to her to see if everything was alright. i know she has a boyfriend but there might have been something up between the two. otherwise she would have never laid next to me.

my interpretation of the dream was that although there are other women and relationships i pursue, my first and one love will be there to haunt me. she looked pissed as i was all hugged up with someone else. i knew it wasn't doing anything wrong. i was getting my own shit together. she is a part of my life but i have learned to deal with things on my own. meaning i don't need her to accept the lifestyle i have. although it may hurt her, i need to make myself happy..

man i sound like a dick.